Mandate

If you believe in God, how do you explain war & cruelty?

If you don’t get this one, try reading the Old Testament.

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Prophets

stop bashing your head

Stop bashing your head.

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Peaceful

This applies to pretty much any religion, but was inspired by the Hindutvadis who email me “peaceful” death threats. It also applies to the “peaceful” rule of State law.

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Cults!

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Mimi & Eunice’s Post-Rapture Special

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Prayers

dear god / grant me knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out / i want a pony amen

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The Reason for the Season

lets put christ back into christmas / jesus christ / happy newton's birthday!

Today is Isaac Newton’s Birthday!

UPDATE: Richard Stallman’s Gravmas page.

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Please ignore this SPECIAL BONUS HOLIDAY CARTOON!

i'm ignoring christmas. what? / christmas. what? / christmas! lalala i can't hear you!

I’m trying hard to ignore the hellidays, but I can’t ignore the effort it takes to ignore them. Tune in tomorrow for a special greeting!

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Martyr of Martyrs

you have a martyr complex / stop being such a martyr / martyr! i'm dying of irony

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Saving the World

i'm gonna save the world / everyone just has to follow my plan

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